Riding on the Metro

The Metro was crowded. Hot. Humid. Stinky. I was over it. A woman shoved her way past me, separating me and my husband. I watched as Todd had no choice but to move about 15 feet away from me, grateful for the silent “You okay?” he shot me with his eyes across the train packed with Parisians. 

“I’m fine,” I wordlessly nodded back. But I wasn’t fine. I wanted off this damn train. I wanted the smelly man across from me to stop leering at me. I wanted the other smelly man next to me to stop brushing my hand with his as he pretended to just be adjusting his position on the pole. I wanted to lean against my husband instead of this sweat-slicked pole. I wanted to reach our stop and escape to the perfect summer afternoon above ground. 

As we approached the next stop, I hoped enough people would exit that I could breathe again. Instead, twenty more boarded.

Thank you...

My Sweet Husband,

I went to the store to find you a card this morning. I spent an hour reading and re-reading every anniversary card available. And you know what? They sucked. None of them came even the slightest bit close to expressing how truly and deeply I love you. Not a single one could properly convey just how much being your wife means to me. No card could really say how thrilling, comforting, and awe-inspiring the past three years have been.

Livin' the Dream

You guys. Seriously.

It's happened.

About a year and a half ago, I came home from work exhausted, weary, and on the verge of a complete meltdown. Every. Night. I told The Hubs, "All I want to do is frost cupcakes and write."

I wanted a life in which I made people, and myself, happy. I wanted something pure, something nourishing, something sweet, something filled with love. I wanted to actually have the time to do the things I loved. I wanted to love what I do. I wanted people to feel loved by what I do. I wanted to feed people. And write about it. Operation Frost Cupcakes became the dream.

Over time Operation Frost Cupcakes became our code for, "When Andrea finally gets to work in a bakery, write, move to a kick-ass part of town, and completely love her life." The Hubs and I talked about it all the time. I dreamed about it constantly. I told anyone that would listen that someday, someday. I put it out into the universe. It got me through the days. I wanted that new adventure so bad I could taste it.

It's been a tough journey. Really tough. Twists and turns and doubts and so many unexpected curve-balls made me come thisclose to giving up the dream. Almost daily I seriously questioned just what the hell I thought I was doing. Each hurdle made the dream seem further and further away.

But then it started getting closer. The Hubs, my friends, my family, YOU held my hand, dragged me kicking and screaming, and cheered so damn loud as the finish line got closer and closer. I wanted to give up. You all wouldn't let me. So I ran faster, dreamed bigger.

And then it happened. I crossed the finish line.

I'm here. Living the dream.

Working in a bakery. Freelance writing. Loving my new town. Drafting a book. Blogging. Laughing. Dreaming. Loving.

Living.

I love you. Thank you.

The Nice Fight

Have you ever niced your way into an epic fight? Does that question make any sense at all to you? Lemme 'splain.

The Hubs and I have this amazing habit of getting into arguments because we are being TOO NICE to each other. I know. It sounds completely stupid. And it probably is.

This fight almost always starts over snoring. Not in the way you think. I don't get mad when he snores. I don't see red when it sounds like I'm laying next to a wild boar making love to a chain saw. I don't get upset when the bed is literally shaking from his log sawing.

I get nice.

Rather than kick him and push him out of the bed (though it's sometimes it's very, very tempting), I simply grab a blanket and my pillow and move to the couch. Inevitably, he will wake up an hour or two later to discover my absense, wander into the living room to find me asleep on the couch or the floor, and then it starts...

The nice fight.

"Why are you out here? Come back to bed."

"You were snoring. I'm fine here. Go back to bed."

"No, I'll take the couch. You have a bad back. Go to bed."

"No, you have to work in the morning. You go to bed."

"No, no. I don't feel comfortable with you out here. You take the bed."

"No. Really. You're the breadwinner. I don't feel right kicking you out of bed. You take the bed."

"No, babe. TAKE THE BED."

"No, really sweetheart. I'M GOOD HERE. GO BACK TO BED!"

"But I love you and I don't want you to be uncomfortable. TAKE THE DAMN BED!"

"I love you, too. SO, TAKE THE EFFING BED!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? GO THE FUCK TO BED!"

"Why are you being an ass? GO! TO! BED!"

"How's it feel up on that cross? TAKE THE BED!"

"Cross? CROSS?!?! Ah HELLNO! I'M SO TAKING THIS COUCH! GO TO BED!!!!"

And then we're in a huge fight.

What is wrong with us? Who in their right mind gets into arguments because they are trying to out-nice each other? Does anyone else do this or are The Hubs and I certifiably insane?

And it doesn't end there. We get in the nice fight more than any other fight. We've got conflicting events on the same day? Watch us battle over who will cancel their plans to accommodate the other. An unappealing errand to run? We'll go ten rounds over who gets to do it so the other doesn't have to. A mess to clean up? Literally clawing our way to said mess to get to it before the other person can. And the best part? Neither of us even necessarily WANTS to do the nice thing. We just can't stand the thought of the other being put out so we'll gladly play the martyr card in order to feel nice.

What the hell is that about? Does anyone else have nice fights?

Love in the Time of Cameltoe

Actual exchange between me and the Hubs:

*It should be noted that prior to this exchange, I gave him a mistaken mohawk, made him a kick-ass dinner, and shared two bottles of Cab Sauv with him.*

Hubs: *from bathroom* Babe, can you come here?

Me: *from living room* Hang on!

Hubs: But I need your help! There's a wonky part in the back! *of the mistaken mohawk*

Me: *silence*

Hubs: BABE!

Me: Hang the FUCK ON! I'm looking at Mariah Carey's cameltoe!

Hubs: *enters living room to find me on laptop staring huge-eyed and drop-jawwed at said cameltoe*

Full thirty seconds of silence till I look up at Hubs, WHO HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES.

Hubs: You've never been more my wife. *seriously, tears in his eyes, you guys*

Me: Huh?

Hubs: I'm serious. You're just the perfect woman for me. You gave me a mohawk, made me that delicious dinner, we're drunk and you're yelling about Mariah Carey's cameltoe. You're just so my wife. I love you so much.

Me: Awww, babe. But, seriously, DID YOU SEE THIS CAMELTOE SHIT?

And that's true love, folks.

PS But seriously, did you see this cameltoe shit? Mariah, girl, that looks downright PAINFUL! 

PPS Mariah Carey's stylist should totally be fired. 

PPPS So should Mariah Carey's vagina.

Lady B's in Love

 It finally sunk in the other night. The first couple of weeks were a SERIOUS adjustment, but it really and truly hit me this weekend, standing in front of the Kibitz Room at Canter's Deli as a light rain drizzled down on The Hubs and I, making the Hollywood lights glow a welcoming orange in the night sky. Hit me like a ton of happy, fluffy, warm and fuzzy rainbows and unicorns. And maybe a little Jack Daniels.

My new home is RAD.

Seriously, you guys? I wasn't sure if I'd get used to living over the hill. I know it sounds dramatic but this was a GINORMOUS change for Lady B. I left my safe Valley bubble for the frenetic, crazy energy that is Hollywood. And I downsized from a sprawling house to an apartment. I have to admit that the first week left me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, out of place and scared to come out from under my covers. And then a list of awesomeness started to write itself:

• I have not moved my car in over two weeks, yet I've gone out multiple times every single day. 
• I've lost ten pounds from all the walking, jogging and exploring I've done in my new 'hood.
• The Hubs and I now unwind by sitting in our rooftop jacuzzi, looking out over the entire damn city.
• That's the same rooftop my bestie and I gossiped, ate stupid-delicious Crumbs Bake Shop cupcakes, and were treated to a surprise fireworks show from Dodger Stadium last Friday night.
• We live across the street from the historic El Royale, former home of Clark Gable and other legends. I'm obsessed with its Art Deco architecture and it's green neon sign shines down into our pool in the sexiest film noir kinda way.

•  Speaking of which, I feel the need to speak like a 40's dame living here. "That's the way it's gonna be, see." "Come 'ere, kid, and let Mama make a man outta ya." Know what I mean? Very Mae West.
• Oh yeah. I also look out over the historic Ravenswood Apartments, where Mae West lived for close to 50 years.
• The Farmer's Market is ridiculous and fantastic. There is a GOURMET SALT GUY, people! Fancy salt!!! Y'all know how much I love me some fancy-pants salt! 
• I have a GAS OVEN AND STOVE again! We're cooking with gas, folks! Oh fire, how I missed you.
• The Village Pizzeria is now our second home. A delicious, warm, cheesy home.
• Everything we own really does fit into this apartment! No need for a storage space as we'd feared! Boo to the YAH!
• There's a book store! A real, honest-to-goodness, not-a-giant-chain book store!!!!
• Our neighbors are NEIGHBORLY! Was totally not expecting that.
• The amount of eye candy in Larchmont Village is bananas. Sexy, scruffy dads getting ice cream with the kids your kinda thing? Tight spandex-clad butts walking to yoga? Down to earth, yet painfully gorgeous celebs? Salt-n-pepper Clooney types? Get. Down. Here. Now.

I could go on for days but I don't want hit the world record for exclamation points in a single blog post.You get it though, right?

THIS PLACE IS HOME! AND HOME IS FREAKING AMAZE-BALLS!!!!!!!

I'm, Like, Totally Gonna Miss The Valley

Why has the idea of leaving The Valley shaken me to my very core? Why is moving a measly 12 miles making me feel like I'm moving away?

I'm a Valley girl, through and through. Except for that awful 6-month stint in Arizona, I've lived here my entire life. It's all I know. And I love it. And I'm going to miss the holy shit out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked for our new adventure over the hill. I can't wait to explore our new 'hood. The Hubs and I have always wanted to live exactly where our new place is and I keep pinching myself to make sure our dream is really coming true. But there's something absolutely terrifying about your dreams coming true. What if your dream was wrong? What if once you have it, you discover that you don't really want it after all? What if it just plain sucks?

Then again, what if it doesn't?

Still. I'm gonna miss the good ol' SFV. The 818. My stomping grounds. The smell of night jasmine in the air. Jogging along the Balboa path. October at the Tapia Bros. pumpkin patch. A frozen lemonade at The Sherman Oaks Street Fair. A movie at The Galleria. A Twain's pancake and a Dupar's pie. Orange and purple sunsets over the 101. A memory tied to each and every corner. My roots.

I've got 37 days left (Crap, it's still that far away? Is this not the longest waiting game ever?) as a San Fernando Valley resident. As a true Valley girl. And I'm going to make the most of it. I know I'll be back. It's only twelve freaking miles. My family and friends are still here. But there's something so bittersweet about leaving and I feel the need to respect that. So I'm going to spend the next five weeks indulging in some of my all-time Valley favorite pastimes. Want to join me?

Spring time at Lake Balboa

A Bob's Big Boy combo in Burbank

People watching over coffee at La Reina on Ventura Blvd.

Pool and darts with the gang at the Sweep.

Wholesome goodness at the Studio City Farmer's Market

Oh Valley, you're so pretty.

Glam or Gaudy?

So, I'm moving. I may have mentioned it. I may have also mentioned that I'm a teensy bit scared of the big change.

But my Hubs is a freaking knight in shining moving armor. Moving armor? That doesn't even make sense. You get the gist, right? Like my adorably handsome bearded husband all made up in an armor suit made of moving and packing supplies? I guess that really wouldn't be decent armor though. You could just tear that to shreds if you were a moving supply dragon or something. Or could you? Cuz then you'd be made of the same stuff as the armor, which we've already established isn't very armor-y. Huh. Anyway.

My Hubs. He's amazing. He knows exactly how to make scary changes magically transform into wonderfully exciting changes with just a few simple words:

"How about we just sell all the living room furniture and start over with brand new stuff?"

What the WHAAAAA?!?!?

Yeah. Knight in moving armor. For reals.

Then he did one even better. He threw me in the car and ignored my whiny complaints about driving sooooo far as we made our to almost-Culver City. "I swear you're gonna like it," he promised. I pouted and whined some more. Cuz I'm awesome like that.

And then we arrived. And ohmyfuckinggodareyoufuckingkiddingme what is this magical place?!!

One hundred fifty THOUSAND square feet of sheer furniture heaven. Heaven, I tell you!!! Sure, most of the items in this interior design mecca are well out of our budget. But they have deals, people! And an outlet space! And just plain inspiration for DAYS!

It's rare when The Hubs gets into shopping of any kind. Ask him to go to the grocery store and it's like you've asked him to drop his pants and cough. But whenever we move he gets oddly excited about new furniture. And then surprises me with some secret magic furniture store juju. Reason #76492 why I adore him. And then dragged him around for 4 hours until we both couldn't look at another damn sofa.

Which brings me to this. We both adore the looks of hotels like The Viceroy and The Riviera in Palm Springs. Yes, we're also kind of obsessed with Palm Springs getaways. Whatevs. So we love the look. Kind of Hollywood Regency meets Mid-Century Modern meets just plain cool. But we don't want to look like we're living in Liberace's place. Okay, The Hubs doesn't anyway. I could totally rock that.

After our trip to what we now can't stop calling "HR Pufnstuf" I came home and ran to the laptop, happily researching budget-friendly options for our new Larchmont Loveshack.

And I discovered Polyvore. Are you on this, yet? Think Pinterest but you can make your own little bulletin inspiration board thingys. And I made THIS:

hollywood regency dream living room by ladyb29 featuring wide rings

Interwebs, I ask you: Is it just the right amount of glam? Or too gaudy? Be honest. I love it. I adore it. I want it. But I don't want to wake up three months from now feeling like old Hollywood threw up on my living room, ya know?

Glam? Gaudy? Just plain awful? Got a better idea? Wanna just go to HD Buttercup with me and drool on everything?

Yay!

Larchmont by Lady B

Lady B is leaving the Valley.

Yeah. I'll let that sink in for a minute. Oh wait, except it really hasn't for me yet. Cah-razy, I tell ya.

But 'tis true. The Hubs and I are packing up the Mammoth Manor and moving over the hill. Something I thought I'd never, ever ever do. But I'm doing it. And I'm over the moon excited. And just a teensy bit scared. But mostly I'm just counting the days till all of this kinda awesomeness is literally steps from our front door:

Check out REISGroup.org for the story on our neighboring building

The Hollywood Forever Cemetery. (David McNew/Getty Images)

Lady B, Miss Pacman, and Jack. The local Barcade brings friends together.

We don't move for another 5 weeks. Five long, excruciating weeks. It's like waiting for Christmas morning and the first day of the school. Which would actually really suck if those ever happened on the same day but whatevs. You get it.

Larchmont, HO!

Vegas, Baby. Vegas!

The Hubs and I are back from a kick-ass weekend in Sin City. Although, can I really call it that knowing that I went specifically to catch The Fresh Beat Band in concert? Hmm.

No. I'm not a crazy lunatic. I know I don't have kids. So why on earth would I be SO FREAKING EXCITED to have tickets AND VIP passes to The Fresh Beats show? Well for one, the hilarious looks we kept getting from parents thinking The Hubs and I were weirdo adult fans of the Nick Jr hit.

But really because our dear friend IS Marina! We're so damn proud of and happy for her, it's crazy. I'll admit, I totally teared up when I saw her on stage. And again when I looked around the room and saw literally thousands of kids cheering for her. And again just now as I typed that. Sheesh! Ball of proud friend mush, I am. Love you, Tara.

Since our gal was playing a huge gig at Planet Hollywood, we decided to make a weekend of it. Vegas, baby. Vegas.

Stellar view from our Aria room.

His & Hers

 

Jean Philippe Patiserrie ~ gorgeous!

A completely edible creation

 

Good morning, Vegas.

Aria. Perfection.

Yes!!

Can you spot the celebrity fan?

"It was a great day!"

The Fresh Beats meet a very important fan!

Beauchamps & Fresh Beats!

Luck be a Lady B?

Lucky in love, anyway.

Two Years Ago Today...

Two years ago today, I did the absolute greatest thing I've ever done in my life. 

I married The Hubs. 

 ~  Best. Day. Ever.  ~

 I've been reminiscing over wedding pics all morning and my face hurts from smiling and laughing at all the perfect memories. Not only was the day magical, filled with love and pure blissful romance, it was freaking hilarious. Thought I'd share some of the "outtake" pics that make me giggle...

Beauchamp sibs can't resist singin' along with Bon Jovi

Inebriated sister Nicole, Uncle Vinnie, and Cammron

Mia does the robot

Ladies and gentleman, may I present ~ The Lippincooties.

A family tradition ~ "Goodbye Earl"

Lady B ruins a perfectly lovely family portrait

Sisters. All class all the time.

The most kick-ass wedding party EVER.

The Hubs was kind enough to NOT smash cake in my face. My bestie, Cody? Not so much.

Male Nales make the same Limoncello shot face.

Silly Mommy! I would never ACTUALLY eat a baby-makin' Medici almond!

Chris and Amy. That's a whole lotta sexy.

Ms. Devine gets to get second base.

Things that make you go, huh?

Shades of Rat Pack, The Hubs

We rock. Hard.

The moment we discovered the cake was the wrong flavor.

Singin' with Leland

I love our friends.

The Macs!!

My MOH and bestie, Yvette. Always protecting her bride.

Leland read from Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go" during our ceremony. Michael got himself ordained and married us. And I married the one in the middle. Love. These. Men.

On my way to the ceremony with my folks. Equal parts terrified and kid-on-Christmas excited.

These men are my first loves. My dad and Michael. Making my bouquet. Love.

The moment we realized the poster didn't exactly fit in the marquee. Hey nervous brides-to-be? Don't sweat the small stuff. All the little things that went amiss (like the too-narrow aisle my parents and I giggled our way down. And getting dressed the morning of and realizing I'd forgotten to pack underwear - don't worry, I didn't go commando. The Hubs came to my rescue and delivered a bag of chonies to my parents' house while I hid in the bathroom.), are actually some of my fave funny memories of our big day.

Consoling my sister, who adorably burst into happy tears after the ceremony.

Mom will probably kill me for this one. But I love it.

Y'all? Watch out for these ones. They will out-party the hardest of partiers. And look damn good doing it.

 Mother and son moment.

Aunt Jeannie lovin', making sure I don't look like a hot mess.

My Spacey Susan. So happy, dance-y, and in love.

Yep, that's me stepping on my dress and about to fall face-first at the altar. And there's The Hubs, catching my fall, as he always does. I love you, T. Forever and always. More than the moon, and the sky, and all of the stars. You are the awesomist.