The Self Healthy Eating Challenge: Night One

I recently turned 32. Quarter-life crisis that accompanies that aside, it got me thinking. I'm not a kid anymore. Like, really. It's time to stop half-heartedly paying attention to my heath and finally just get healthy once and for all.

So I quit smoking (Again. I know.), I've been jogging a bit more frequently, and I'm seriously considering inflating (and using!) that workout ball mom got me for my birthday. And I let this pin take over my life for a week.

Have y'all seen this pin yet? Cuz it's everywhere.

Bacon Maple Cupcakes. Shut. Up.

Yes, you read that right. Bacon. Cupcakes. As my good friend, the other Andrea Lynn, would say, "Oh. My. DAMN."

Here's the thing. I love breakfast food. I love BAD breakfast food. Bacon-y breakfast food. And I'm lucky enough to have a group of friends that love it just as much, if not more, than I do. So we made a club. The Breakfast Club. We get together to make artery clogging dinner parties that would make the fellas of Epic Meal Time proud. Damn proud.

Carmageddon decided to throw a sneak preview on the 405 last night, making it impossible for The Hubs and I to get to Redondo Beach for rib grillin' with some of our club. After staring at brake lights for over an hour, we'd only made it to Skirball. Defeated, we turned back around. As we sadly made our way back to the Valley we made plans to head back down tomorrow morning for brunch. Our host sent a challenging text. "Pumpkin waffles."

Pumpkin waffles? I see your pumpkin waffles, DCP, and I raise you BACON CUPCAKES. Get ready for a mouthgasm tomorrow morning. 

Lady B's Cardiac Arrest Cupcakes

9 tablespoons butter (1 stick and some more), room temp

1 tablespoon bacon drippings (left in fridge to solidify. You know, so it's healthy.)

2 eggs

10 tablespoons brown sugar

1/2 cup maple syrup

2 1/2 cups self rising flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

pinch of salt

1/2 cup of milk

1 package bacon, cooked & drained

Cook bacon in fry pan. Reserve drippings and place in fridge to solidify. Mince up all the bacon.

Beat butter and bacon fat (yep, I just told you to do that. Try not to think about it too much.) until it's light and creamy. Add brown sugar and maple syrup until well combined. Add eggs one at a time, beating at medium speed until it's all harmonizing together.

Sift flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder. 

Add some of the flour mixture into butter mix, beating until well combined. Add milk and continue blending. Alternate between dry and wet ingredients, ending and starting with the dry stuff.

Taste test and add more syrup, milk or flour if you're so inclined. I tended to add a bit more syrup for some extra sweetness. NOT TOO MUCH though. A little goes a long way.

Fold in the bacon. Taste test again cuz it's just damn good.

Use an ice cream scoop (best way to make evenly portioned cupcakes) to divide batter in to cupcake-lined muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 18-22 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean when placed in the center. Rotate your muffin tins at the 15 minute mark to keep them evenly cooked, especially if you've got a wonky uneven oven like mine.

Let cupcakes cool entirely before frosting. While cooling, hey! Make frosting!

Maple Butter Frosting

8 tablespoons butter (yep, a whole other stick of butter)

4 tablespoons maple syrup

2 cups powdered sugar

Combine syrup and butter until well blended. Add powdered sugar a bit at a time, whisking at high speed.

Pipe onto cupcakes. Sprinkle remaining bacon bits on top of frosting. Eat one. Die with a sugary, bacon-y smile on your face.

Cupcakes and Caramels

I'm Lady B and I'm addicted to Pinterest. I'm pinspired! During my hours (okay fine, days) lost on this site, I was enticed (pinticed? too much?) by all the adorable cupcakes people pinned. And it occured to me. I have no idea how to do anything with frosting other than slopping it on with a butter knife. But I want to make pretty creations like these and these and these.

SUGAR!!!

The Hubs was sweet enough to trek to the store to pick up all the necessary fixin's. Though, who I am kidding? He just wanted cupcakes THAT bad. Armed with an arsenal of sugary goodness, I was ready to get Martha Stewart on these little cakes' asses. Er, tops.

Sadly, I've learned that I don't possess any frosting finesse. Even with the handy Pampered Chef Easy Accent Decorator my Grandma gifted me for Christmas, I'm a clumsy, frosting globbing mess. These were the best I could come up with. Luckily The Hubs was happy to show me that cupcakes with buttercream frosting are delicious no matter what they look like.

Yes, that's a mustache

Determined, to make something delicious AND pretty, I marched back into the kitchen to attempt Fleur del Sel Caramels. Using the Mark Bitman recipe I found on CupcakesandCashmere, I let the buttery sugary goodness cool while I picked fresh flowers from our garden.

Took some muscle cutting into this bad boy!

 They look lovely next to the bowl of amazing, mouth-watering, sweet and salty hand-wrapped treats that The Hubs has been eating like chips ever since. 

Yay Sunday!

Kitchen Kitten

The Hubs and I eat out and order in way too often. Sure I cook my fair share, but nowhere near as often as I could, or should. This week, I decided to change that. And I decided to do it sans recipes. Three nights in, I'm feeling like a superhero.  Kitchen Kitten! The Culinary Conqueror! The Chefinator!

Monday's anniversary London Broil wasn't exactly a masterpiece (why can't I ever NOT overcook a steak?!?), but there were no leftovers. The Hubs wolfed down multiple helpings of the steak, potatoes and veggies. Topped off with champagne and sweet a trip down memory lane, the meal was blissful. As were the strawberry sundaes I made for dessert.

Tuesday night had me eying the mound of produce I'd procured over the weekend. I wanted delicious. I wanted a lot of different flavors. And I didn't want a pile of dishes. Solution? My new one-dish summer squash chicken bake! Again, no leftovers. Yay! And so KAH-RAZY easy!

Sprayed a couple of boneless skinless chicken breasts with EVOO (A Misto sprayer is your friend. Get one.) and seasoned with salt and pepper and placed them in a greased baking dish. Opened up a can of Italian stewed tomatoes and poured onto the chicken. Sliced up some beautiful zuchinni and summer squash and arranged those around the chicken. Topped it all with a handful of grated mozzarella and parmesan . Baked at 375 for 45 minutes. Blew The Hubs' mind. Win!

Tonight, was my tried and true (and The Hubs' fave) turkey sausage penne. I tossed in some french cut green beans for color. For a side I steamed up a couple of late season artichokes. Feeling like the meal was just a weird combo of boring regulars, I decided to try my hand at ailoi to un-bland the 'chokes. Did y'all know it was so insanely easy to concoct your own aioli? I had no idea it was really just a fancy word for spruced-up mayo!

I took about a 1/2 cup of mayo and added the juice of one lime and a few drops of EVOO. Threw in a few cloves of pressed garlic. Then a generous dash of equal parts cayenne and mexican chili powders. Tossed in a pinch of salt and pepper and did a little dance in honor of the mouthgasm it caused.

Tonight, there are leftovers. But only cuz The Hubs loves nothing more than leftover sausage penne so I always make extra. He actually prefers it day-old over the fresh. Weirdo.

Mango Monday

Know how I know it's Spring? In the past two weeks, seven, yes seven, people have asked for my mango salsa recipe. Once the weather warms up, I make this concoction constantly and put it on everything. You should, too.

Since it's gorgeous outside, head to your farmer's market to score local goodies and get some fresh air. And since they say Spring is the best time to get twitterpated, why not flirt with that cutie selling the freshly baked buns?

You're gonna need:
1 large ripe mango
1/2 medium red onion
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 8 oz can of pineapple tidbits
1 lime
fresh cilantro
salt to taste

And a copy of Whipped Cream and Other Delights. On vinyl. Must be on vinyl.


Let Herb and the TJB unleash your groove thang. Dance while you dice. It's crucial and adds flavor, I swear.

Peel the mango and chop into small dice. It helps to dice in time to the music. Place mango in bowl. Chop up those red & yellow peppers, and let them get jiggy with the mango. Drain the pineapple tidbits. You may want to chop some of the larger bits in half, depending on how much size matters to you. (Does size really matter?) Let those bits percolate in your mango mix while you samba through the kitchen.

Chop up half of a red onion, and invite it to the party in your bowl. Let the onion mingle and make new friends. Cut your lime in half and squeeze to make it rain over the top of your mango medley. Chop up your cilantro and sprinkle into the goodness. Salt it up to your liking.  Mix it all together lightly. You don't want to bruise your bits. 

Let the salsa chillax in your fridge till you're ready to have a mouth-gasm.

NOM!